You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
