I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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