i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
