I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
