their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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