By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
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Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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