Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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