Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
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Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
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Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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