I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
