WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize