I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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