Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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