I want to stick my p in your. b.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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