Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
