Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
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I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
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His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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