It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
