My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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