A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
