Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
