genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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