We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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