I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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