I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
