good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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