Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think I am morally bankrupt
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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