I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
