I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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