I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize