Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
