Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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