My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
