At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
