i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
