"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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