Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Holy sore nipples Batman
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize