so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
