so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
