So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
