discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
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