Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
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47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
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Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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