Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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