Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
