just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just invented taco cereal.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
