U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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