I can feel you judging me through the phone.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
