you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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