return my video game
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize