We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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