Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
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You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
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No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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