If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
