I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
