we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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