There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
