how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos