whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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