Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize