so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize