She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My dad is sitting where you rode me
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
